Welcome to my little haven of creative writing, passionate ranting, and thoughtful learning.

Monday, August 26, 2013


I'm not a patient person.
Yes, that is a flaw. I own up to my flaws, even if I am working to change them, I accept what they are. But sometimes I need to learn to trust that things will work out. That if I am willing to do the work and put forth the effort, things will fall into place.
Since my pool season ended, as I knew it would, I began looking months ago for part time employment, all the time hearing nothing back from anywhere. It was discouraging and frustrating, but I kept doing the work. I filled out applications, sent in resumes, then when the pool actually closed, panicked a little.
But sometimes timing is so poetic.

On my last payday from the pool, I got a phone call for an interview.

I went to that interview today, I was hired in the room.

I start my new job, which sounds wonderful, has good hours, and even a mostly set schedule, on Wednesday. As in, two days from now. Which means I was officially out of work for 13 days.

I'm choosing to believe there is a reason things happened the way they did. That I needed those 13 days as a break from working because I had worked so many hours this summer. That God knew what he was doing as I worked on my applications and LinkedIn account. And now I can stop panicking, and trust that there was no reason to panic in the first place, just to work diligently and learn to trust.


Saturday, August 24, 2013

Off to the Library We Go!

 Today has been a lovely Saturday for Jace and I. We met up with a couple friends for lunch at BC&T then, on a whim, went to the public library. This was Jace's first trip to the library, and he loved it.
I picked up a couple books I've been wanting to read, then we hit the children's section. First, I'd like to give serious props to the Madison County Library for having a wonderful, diverse, and engaging children's section. There are educational computer games, toys, puzzles, and of course a ton of books. Jace picked out a Curious George book (which may have had something to do with the bright yellow color), and made friends with a little girl who was putting together puzzles.

It's weird that I hadn't thought about taking Jace to the library before now, because I have such fond memories of my own childhood in the Newton Falls Public Library. I remember getting the Boxcar Children books, taking part in Summer Reading Contests, attending programs, and learning how to use the computer. I would meet up with my friends there during middle school to study and work on group projects, and would struggle to walk out the front door because of how many books I was carrying. My mom took us once a week during the summer so we could all get books, and one of my prized possessions was my library card. 
I want Jace to have that as well: I want him to feel comfortable checking out books and reading what he wants. And I think starting now is as good a time as any for him to learn the magic of the library. 


Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Changing Seasons

My work-too-many-hours-a-week-get-an-awesome-tan-learn-to-manage-a-pool-summer has ended.
The pool closed on Sunday, and Justin and I are just about finished with the winterizing process so the pool will be set to open and run for the 2014 season. I'm so thankful for this summer: it provided great laughs, good work experience, awesome stories, and led to great friendships. As usual, I have some common sense rules that we should apparently post after some of the crazy instances we had at the pool.

My Adjusted Rules
- If your belly covers the bottom half of your bikini so well that the guards freak out and think there's a half naked woman walking the deck, it's probably time for a new swimsuit (maybe a one piece please?)
-  If you weren't allowed to have a Polar Pop on the deck because it isn't water, you're probably also not allowed to have the blue slushie you bought. Yes, even if it is from the pool's concession stand.
- If you chose to tattoo the word B*tch on your back in pretty cursive, you cannot blame the guards for giggling when you walk past. Please remember, they've worked 8 hours in the hot sun before you even arrived for Free Family Swim.
- If you jump off a diving board into 12' of water feet first, you're not going to just hit the bottom and push up. And when that happens, you probably shouldn't fight the lifeguard that's trying to save you.
- The lifeguards yell "Don't run" for a reason. Seriously, unless you enjoy the sight of your own blood, just slow it down.
- There is no music in the world that makes everyone happy, so showing up to the manager's office to say that our music sucks, is not going to help your case. It's better than silence, so enjoy the family friendly music and remember, you haven't heard this CD 4,298,557,503 times like all the guards here.

But, I have some wonderful memories from this summer. Our staff beat my highest expectations and it was so clear that they had become friends by the end of the season. We played foursquare on slow days and thunder breaks, found a slip'n'slide, played sharks and minnows, and bonded in the horror of Free Family Swim. I loved my summer, and I'm adjusting to the idea of "What's next?". My schedule may have changed week to week, but I was very comfortable at my pool. I'm trying, however, to be optimistic and confident that something will come along for me next.


Tuesday, August 6, 2013


I was rarely sick as a child, not often at the doctor's, and was excellent at avoiding the hospital. I am lucky to have good health, a strong immune system, and the stubborn belief that my body can heal itself. My husband was not so lucky: he is so comfortable in a hospital that it sometimes frightens me.
So when we got news that his medicine had stopped working for his Crohn's he was prepared for it, and prepared for the idea of surgery or a stem cell transplant.
I was not.
We have spent the last couple weeks living in a world of "what if," while juggling scenario's of moving, of complications, of never naturally conceiving more children etc.

Thankfully, Nathan's doctor from childhood is very thorough. Nathan was able to talk to her yesterday and find more livable options for us. She found two medications that are rather new and that may work for him. Even if they only work for a couple years, that would give us the time we would need to settle more with our family and have the chance to have more children. It would also give the stem cell trials time to become more routine and more widespread, possibly eliminating our need to move in order for Nathan to have that treatment. Of course, nothing is set in stone, and things could change, but this gives me hope that there are more options and as time goes on we may have better choices for Nathan's health.

I cannot find the words to correctly express the amount of relief that I feel knowing that our lives do not have to get suddenly uprooted. We can continue to live in a town that we have grown to love, with the friends that have become family, and the community that we are proud to be part of. I can work part time and be with my toddler. My husband can be healthy (by his standards) and we can work to watch diet and activity level to help the new medication work. I am grateful, I am at peace, and I am so relieved.


Thursday, August 1, 2013

My Child is a TODDLER.

My baby isn't really a baby anymore. Seriously.
He is full on into toddler-hood.
And I have evidence.

1.) He walks. 
Yep, it's no longer a couple little steps here and there, he stands up from a sitting position and GOES. He is fearless, no matter how many times he may fall.

2.) He makes decisions. 
He will go out to the cupboard in the kitchen, open it (if I've forgotten to baby-lock it) and retrieve a packet of fruit snacks which he will then bring to me so I can open it.

3.) He has a wicked little sense of humor. 
He knows what to do that's funny but troublesome. For example, the other night we went to our church pool party. Arriving home, I just put the bag of towels, keys, sippy cups etc. on the floor. Without me knowing, he got into the bag and grabbed my keys. My house, car and work keys. He crawled upstairs and hid them. The next morning I literally crawled around my house for over an hour hunting for them. I found them: hidden in my bedroom.

4.) He gets excited and happy.
We went to the Madison County Fair tonight: Jace's second time to a fair. Last year he was a three month old baby: it didn't matter to him where we were as long as he got fed and was able to sleep. Tonight I could see joy in my little one's eyes as he rode his first rides, got a balloon animal, and played at the petting zoo. The ride home he babbled and smiled, and I swear I could see appreciation there. He was grateful to have gone with us and had such a good time.

On one hand, I miss his infant-hood and his dependence on me. Because he is a very independent and adventurous little toddler. But I love to watch him learn and grow. I feel so much pride when I see his desire to walk on his own, but look back to make sure Mommy is following. I truly could not have imagined a better life and family than I have, even in stressful times.