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Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Learning to Give in my Marriage

I keep very high standards for myself.

Sometimes, unrealistically high.

My house has a certain standard of cleanliness I strive to maintain at all times.
My appearance has a certain criteria to meet before I can go to work.
My blog writing has to be proofread and edited many times before I can post it.

It's partly my personality:
I lean toward perfectionism and live in constant worry of being deemed inadequate.

But that isn't my husband's personality at all (Opposites attract, right?).
To him, there's no problem going to sleep with baby toys strewn about the living room.
Heading to work and haven't had a chance to shave? Not a big deal.

Though we try, neither or us really understand why the other acts the way they do.
At first, it was a little infuriating for me. I wanted him to change and become more like me: I wanted him to have high standards to live up to. But I'm sure he wanted me to relax. To let the toys lay on the floor overnight, especially since they aren't hurting anything.

So I'm trying to learn to give.
To not critique him for not loading the dishwasher the same way that I would have done it. To refrain from getting upset when I find his socks on the living room floor again. These actions aren't hurting anything, they just don't fit in with my view of how things should be done.

Nearly two years into marriage, I'm finally realizing that maybe I don't need him to live up to all my standards, but to give him some grace and let him live by his standards. And maybe it's time to give a little and let go of some of my ideas of how things should be, and instead be happy with how things are.



xoxo,
Camille