Starting a new year always leads me to analyze my life and see what I would really like to change. In the past it has always been a goal to figure out how to change my lifestyle to a healthier one, but not this year. This year is something that hits a little deeper.
I am a cowardly Christian.
I am. I'm afraid to actually get into deep discussion about Jesus because I am always afraid that I do not know enough to hold an intelligent conversation. I use the excuse that I didn't grow up in the church. I didn't learn the books of the bible by age five and say a prayer before meals.
Actually, I more than just "use" that excuse: I cling to it. I define my life by it. And I am finally tired enough of it to stop.
So this year my one resolution, my single achievable, sustainable goal, is to stop hiding behind the excuse of not "knowing enough" and instead focus on just learning more. To start I am into a reference book that is designed to help me understand the Bible and it's framework so I'm no longer as intimidated by it.
It's called "30 Days to Understanding the Bible" by Max Anders. (No, I am not being paid to promote it or asked to review it, this is just the book I happened across that looked the most promising for me to start.) The idea is to spend 10 to 15 minutes each day working through each chapter and learning. For me, that's perfect, because it is a structured plan that tells me exactly what to do, which means I am able to follow it. Thus far, I've learned a lot from it. Once I finish it, I want to move forward in bible studies (something I have never been able to do because I was too intimidated by the bible to have any idea where to begin studying it).
I think this is the best goal I could work toward this year, and by being open about it I hope to hold myself more accountable.