Wednesday, March 11, 2015
Being a C-Section Mom
*Disclosure, this rant is talking about birth, so if squimish, you have been warned!
My mom had C-sections with both my sister and I, her body just wouldn't allow her to birth me vaginally, and back in 1992 the VBAC was unheard of. She warned me after my first exam that since the doctors noted the same issue in my body that she had, that it might make birth more difficult for me.
Fast forward to me at 22 years old, preparing to go to the hospital to have my baby. I wanted the epidural, but I also wanted to push. I wanted to experience birth in that way. However, in the back of my mind, I knew that there was the chance of a cesarean, and I was okay with that as long as at the end of the day I held a healthy boy (or girl if the ultrasounds were wrong) in my arms.
The choice was mine to make, but when I wouldn't dilate further, when Jace's heart rate elevated, and when all the circumstances came together, I made what I know was the safest choice for both of us: I chose to give birth via surgery.
I don't regret it for an instant. I know it makes me no less of a mom, and I know that I still gave birth to my baby. There is so much out there right now that is negative about C-sections, but mine was and continues to be a wonderful thing because it allowed safe entry for my little one.
Based on my specific set of circumstances, when it is time for my next baby to be born, I will be having a repeat C-section. But as often as I see "Natural Birth Advocates," talk about how women are scared into having C-sections, pressured into them, and fear tactics are used to coerce them, I see their fear tactics too.
I read a blog post about birth statistics, and saw this:
Oh, well thanks so much for letting me know that since MY body needs a C-section I'm three times more likely to die. I mean really, there's not enough to worry about with growing and birthing a human being.
As a c-section mom, I feel like I see and hear it everywhere: from other moms, from women planning their births, and of course from social media where a week doesn't pass without seeing some link to a blog uplifting the glory of vaginal birth and tearing down the option of surgery.
"It didn't go exactly as planned, but at least I didn't have to have a C-section!"
Because having a cesarean is obviously the worst case scenario.
"Well maybe next time you can have a vaginal birth, there's a VBAC!"
Because clearly the goal should be to have a vaginal birth, not just a healthy baby.
I can't and won't keep my mouth shut anymore. Would I encourage every woman to have a C-section? Absolutely not! But I'm certainly not going to say nothing while a valid and sometimes necessary option is treated as a bad thing or less of a birth.
I am a proud, strong, C-section mom.
And look, that picture shows my cute, healthy C-section baby.