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Thursday, March 3, 2016

One on One

As an introvert, allow me to begin by stating that I already love and generally prefer one on one time. Because, depending on the group, large groups require a lot of small talk. Even groups of my close friends can be tiring after awhile, despite me genuinely enjoying spending that time with them. But over the past couple weeks I've really had some intentional one on one time, and I had forgotten what a difference it makes.



I'm away from home at work 45 hours a week (actually significantly more because I'm at the gym, but Jace is asleep at that time anyway). And even when I'm home, though we'll play a game, or read a book or go outside, it's always punctuated with throwing a load of clothes in the washer, or quickly vacuuming, or some other little chore that needs to get done. But when we went to Castaway Bay with my mom and dad, for the entire day he had my attention. We went in the wave pool, in the toddler play area, down the water slides, and into the indoor outdoor hot "bath" tub as Jace named it. I didn't have to rush to any chore, or tell him I'd be right back, I didn't have to go to the store/post office/car wash. That night, after a solid 7 hours in the water, he crashed hard, and I was sharing a bed with him; he fell asleep holding my hand. I realized that day was the first full day he's had of my attention in forever, which broke my heart, and made me realize the difference that it makes to give him my undivided attention.

And it's not only with Jace that I've noticed this. My group of hometown friends gets together on a fairly regular basis. Most of them live in Newton Falls, and with me an hour away in Cleveland we'll meet for lunch, to have dinner, just to hang out, or most memorably recently we went snow tubing. But of this group I've realized that I don't hang out one on one with everyone, and when I got free tickets to the prescreening of a soon to be released film (thank you work!) I asked my friend Sam to come with me. We went out to eat and to the show and it amazed me the difference in getting to talk to just her. As a group we talk about a lot, but she and I are the married ones, and we have things to talk about that we just understand better about each other.


These dates make such a difference in my relationships, and I think I need to continue to make the effort to make sure this time happens, whether it's a phone or Skype date with my Kentucky family, or even spending dedicated time focused only on my husband. I'd like to extend the challenge to my other friends to, at least once a week take the time to, even for an hour, spend time with just one person and let that one person be your focus.