I've posted a lot about trying to get back in shape, and trying to be healthy. From October 2013-October 2014 I succeeded in my weight loss goal of 40 pounds.
It is hard to admit that I've gained back 30 of that.
Each time I thought I was getting ahead and would be back on the path of getting back to the goal weight, something would derail me, or even with the exercise and diet, the weight would still stick.
Watching my wardrobe piece by piece become too small has been painful.
Right now, I'm pleased as pie to say that I have a handle on my depression. Turns out it was a combination of depression and actually my thyroid being overactive. This is glorious, wonderful, Thank-You-God news to me, but antidepressants are known to have a fun side effect called weight gain.Or, the inability to lose weight.
I talked to my doctor, and she told me that honestly if I'm still being active she'd be a lot more concerned about the depression being under control than me gaining a few pounds. Because even over the 6 week span of testing out different medications and dosages I gained over 5 pounds, and it was a big concern to me. But she's right, I'd rather have my rounder tummy and desire for life than my ideal shape and be curled up each night in a fog.
So here I am, in 2016, back up nearly to the start of my fitness journey weight. And you know what? I've decided it's time to embrace the curves. Did I love the cuter clothes and smaller sizes? Absolutely. Am I using this as an excuse to eat whatever I want and not care about my fitness? Not a bit.
But I got tired of throwing on the same pair of yoga pants and three loose fitting tops, so I spruced up my wardrobe with some secondhand shopping (my favorite kind of shopping!) and am embracing what I look like right now.
So yes, my curvy waist is still going to be in a swimsuit at the pool and on the beach. Yes, there are going to be some jiggly parts under my collection of summer sundresses. And yes, I'm going to take selfies and not hide from the camera, because there is a lot more to my beauty than what the scale has to say.