In a little advice being social cell phone issues social media

Disconnect.

I was prompted to write this post
(Yay, someone actually reads this blog so regularly they wanted to hear my opinions on something specific!)

The topic?

The smartphone.

We'll be clear, I love my little smartphone. I'm a huge fan of being able to watch Netflix, play solitaire, send a text, listen to Pandora, and check my social media. It's lightweight, reliable, and just generally pretty awesome.
But I have moments where I would literally like to slap the phone out of people's hands.



I've been getting so irritated lately. I can be having dinner with someone, at a group outing, at a party, even having a phone conversation, and suddenly I'm repeating myself. Why? Because a Facebook notification came up and had to be checked instantly. Because, blatantly, I've been told that I am less important than a piece of technology.

Let's be very transparent for a moment.

I do not repeat myself.

I grew up with a deaf parent.
I learned to speak clearly and slowly so she could read my lips, and frequently had to say the same thing repeatedly for her to understand it. I still do.

I do it for my mom because she hasn't been able to learn sign language and I need to be able to communicate with her. I do it because she really and truly wants to know what I'm saying and sometimes she just can't catch it. I do it because I see that she would give anything to be able to have an effortless conversation again.

So, to me, it is unbelievably rude to make me reiterate what I just verbalized because you were too distracted. It's insulting to watch someone take advantage of the fact that they are lucky enough to have their hearing and can have an easy conversation.

Whoever "liked" your selfie will still show that they "liked" it in an hour.
Your newsfeed will show you the same news in the morning as it will right this second if you scroll down far enough.
And if someone is announcing their big news to you on Facebook and not calling, texting, or better yet talking to you in person to announce it, then you're really not too good of a friend to them anyway.

So I have a plea. The next time you are lucky enough to have some face-to-face time with a loved one, treasure it. Be grateful. Show them that their words matter to you by focusing on what they say. And leave your phone in your pocket.



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In appreciation Friendship gratitude happiness

It's All in Your Mind(set)

Last week was busy.

Oh, who am I kidding, every week of my life is busy, with scheduled, planned, and unexpected things. 

That's the season of life I'm in, a full-time office assistant, a young mom, a wife, a daughter, and a friend. I try to live up to every one of those labels, inevitably fail and fall short sometimes, exceed at other times, and generally just continue to bounce forward.

Anyway, as I was saying, last week was busy. One specific day I knew would be a no-downtime day from 5:15 am till probably 9 or 10. But the last thing I would be doing that day would be a little birthday dinner for a new and dear friend. 
And I actually caught myself thinking, on the way there, just this one last thing to do today.

Hold up.

Yep, instead of looking forward to celebrating friendship, showing love, and indulging in cake, I had somehow written it off as just one more item on my agenda that needed to be accomplished before I could go to sleep.
I quickly mentally chastised myself, took a breath, and thought about the evening for what it was: a celebration. I thought about how blessed I am to see the women that I would spend the evening with, how fortunate I am to have a husband that, after coming home from work, would keep not only our toddler, but an additional two year old so that we could celebrate. I thanked God for the community I have stumbled into. And suddenly, I could not wait to get there

The only thing that had changed was my mindset, and that's all that needed to change. 

I'd like to put out a challenge, to myself and anyone else willing. Take one thing each day and try to see it through a new lens. Maybe it's work, maybe it's cooking dinner, maybe it's heading to a meeting or date that you have every week. Stop seeing it as just another obligation, even if only for that day. Then see what changes!



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In friends Friendship Motherhood parenthood toddler

Why Moms Cling to Other Moms

After two years of mom life, I've noticed something. Almost all of my female friends nearby are fellow moms.

Of course, I still have some very close friends that aren't parents, and I love them so dearly, but I started studying why moms stick together. (Yes, I really do spend a lot of time analyzing people.Yes, I'm a bit strange.) But anyway, here's what I've discovered:

1.) Moms understand late or canceled plans.

You were just about to walk out the door when you noticed. No choice but to strip him down and get a new diaper.
Just as you went to hop in the shower, little one threw up all over you.

You call or text, explain in as few words as possible, then deal with the above circumstance.
They respond: no grief, no guilt, just a very compassionate: I totally get it.

2.) Your missed text or call is responded to. Two days later. No judgement.

The conversation picks up just where it left off: no explanation needed.

3.) The state of your toy-strewn living room looks totally normal to them. They probably don't even notice.

Admit it, as a mom, we are envious whenever we walk into the houses of out non parent friends. Their fingerprint free windows, beautiful vases of flowers placed on low coffee tables. Books without Disney characters or that start One Fish Two Fish on their shelves, and stunning grown up colors on their unstained carpets.

And we therefore know what those friends see when they walk into our homes. The red and yellow blocks strewn all over the floor, the television remote that has some sticky substance on it, the Curious George theme song on repeat, and the toybox, which has somehow become the centerpiece of the room.

But another mom, she's able to look past all those things and see the new family picture you hung up above the couch. She doesn't make a face as she uses her foot to clear a path through the room because it's so second nature, she may not realize she's just done it.

4.) Coffee/Lunch/Dinner dates happen at each others houses.

Fellow moms don't usually head up to the local Starbucks to catch up. We don't go out to Olive Garden for a leisurely lunch. We pack up the kids, and head to the home of mom friend where they have brewed a good size pot of tea, and enjoy conversation while watching the kids play in an already kid-friendly place.

If we do go out, we're heading to the nearest food joint with a play place (unless we've found a babysitter or a hubby with no plans of his own).

5.) They offer a type of support no one else can.

When you tell another mom what's going on, especially if they have a kid near your child's age, they can not only offer words of comfort and support, they get it.

Unlike your mom, who has blocked out most of the more terrible parts of parenting and remembers the cute and cuddly parts.
Unlike your single friends, who can offer love, but have no real way to put themselves in your shoes.
And unlike even your husband, because even if he is the most fantastic father in the world, he doesn't quite get it.

Here's one of my best examples: this past Monday I was heading to dance fitness. And Jace lost it on my way out the door: crying, clinging, "mamamamama"-ing. Anyone knows that is sad, and can imagine that it is hard, but I have to believe that only another mom understands what it physically does to your heart to watch your baby cry for you. It's not something I can put into words, it's not something that I can make an adequate comparison to, but when I arrived at dance fitness I didn't have to explain it because the mom's just got it. That solidarity offered me so much comfort, because it takes away the feeling of being alone in your feelings.

I'm so incredibly blessed to have those women in my life, and I don't think I can every thank them all enough for their friendship.

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In creative writing poetry pregnancy

Pregnancy- A Poem

I was searching through old documents and found a poem I started when I was still pregnant with Jace.
 I touched it up and finished it and wanted to post it here.

Shock.
It all makes sense.
But none of it makes sense.
My new D cup and aversion to smells,
That part adds up.
But the doctors all said no.
Our chances were minute.
Chemo caused some damage,
High stress levels wouldn’t help.
But the test says positive.
So does the one at the doctor’s office.
Due date: April 19.
“Take your prenatal vitamins.”
It’s still unreal, we can’t quite comprehend.
A baby.
Us.
We get to have one?
Love one?
Name one?
Planning commences,
family members are told.
Excitement follows.
First ultrasound
Congratulations, it’s a
BOY.
Jace Alexander.
I continue growing,
as does he.
Kick.
Jace learns to somersault,
roll,
and rest feet in my ribcage.
More ultrasounds,
more doctors,
he’s healthy and fine.
Setting up the nursery,
Lion King bedding,
and a library of Dr. Seuss .
Getting closer to April,
nervous about labor.
Plan baby showers,
read about birth.
Watch a lot of Teen Mom.
3-D ultrasound,
the first time to see his face,
looks like daddy.
Skin continues to stretch
Angry red streaks my stomach
I simply can’t get any bigger,
there’s nowhere else to go.
Too much movement
to sleep,
just prepping
for newborn nights.
Doctor appointments weekly,
a couple medical scares.
“Signs of preeclampsia.”
“Strict bed rest.”
Then finally,
“We should induce.”
More calls to family members
“Jace’s birthday will be tomorrow!”
Start the pitocin,
sleep, rest, wait.
Water breaks,
progress,
time for the epidural.
Progress slows,
ceases,
stresses.
“It’s completely up to you.”
C-section.
5:33pm
Congratulations!
The cry that would change
every priority in my life.


Courtesy of Ray Davis Photography

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In being a mom birthday toddler two years old

#MomLife

My baby turns two today.

Yes, you read that right.

T W O

My thought: Where the heck did the last two years go?


That tiny little bundle that came home from the hospital is now a very independent toddler that keeps me on my toes. And realistically, I wouldn't change a thing.

Here are my favorite parts of being Jace's mom:

1.) He's fearless!
If you've met him, you know he doesn't get scared easily. He loves animals big and small, slides down slides of any size, and would jump right into any new situation.

2.) He's a people baby.
Even if he pretends to be a little shy at first, he loves everybody. It doesn't matter who babysits him, or who's house we're going to, he warms up and adjusts quickly. 

3.) HE'S A READER!
I love this. It's probably my favorite part of his personality. Ever night before bed, we read him a story that he picks out. When we say "The End," he takes the book into bed with him to read it again to himself until he falls asleep. We've found him after naptime reading a book, during naptime, even waking up first thing in the morning. 

4.) He gives the best cuddles.
  He doesn't get super cuddly often, but when he does he curls right up on my lap and gives the best hugs and kisses. 

5.) He's a quick study.
It amazes me to watch him pick up on new things daily. This age is the age for learning, but it's so interesting to watch him learn new words, new actions, and make new connections. 


Happy Birthday baby boy! 


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