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Sunday, January 5, 2014

This image has been circulating my Facebook feed. And It kind of ticks me off.


Maybe it's because I became a mom "young" and so I remember what dating was like very clearly.

Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that I look forward to Jace finding happiness and love with someone, just like I have found it in his dad. I don't fear "losing" my son or that some girl will "take him away from me." If a girl is able to do that, then clearly I failed somewhere in my relationship with him. 


Here's what I think:
1.) While he is not an ATM for anyone, when he is starting a relationship I think he should offer to buy you dinner and show up to pick you up with a small bouquet of roses. I think that if he hands over all his money like an ATM, then somewhere he failed to learn financial responsibility and that lies in him to fix.

2.) If you show up looking like a "stripper" I will have to wonder why you feel the need to dress that way and, more pressingly, why my son chose to bring you home.

3.) Seriously? I can't condemn someone for something that I did as a young adult, and while it might demand a conversation, it certainly won't cause me to "make you go away."

4.) I hope to like you. If my son sees something in you that makes you worth introducing to me, then I want to see what he sees. But if I don't like you I won't live under the delusion that just by being his mom I can control any relationship he has. I believe that will only drive he and I apart, and my relationship with my son is too important.

5.) See previous statement.

6.) If my son is a mama's boy, then that is completely okay with me: I will cherish my time and conversations with him. But if you've started a committed relationship with him, it means you like him and hopefully have respect for our relationship.

7.) Please help him change. That is what relationships are about, we grow each other, we help each other, and we change each other to be better. I have learned so much from Nathan, and he has learned and changed so much because of me. The only thing I ask if that you help him change for the better, and let him change you as well.

8.) I will do my best to teach him to be a gentleman, please help me to uphold that by making him treat you like a lady.

9.) While I've watched enough CSI and read enough mystery books that I believe I could avoid jail, I only want you to think this if you maliciously hurt him. I will protect my son, but I know that hurt happens in youthful relationships. I ask that if you have to hurt him, you do so as respectfully as you can.

10.) If I gain you as a daughter-in-law, I pray to never be a monster-in-law. Whether I instantly love you, or have my reservations about you, when you become a part of my family, you are a part of my family and I will treat you with respect.