Relief

I was rarely sick as a child, not often at the doctor's, and was excellent at avoiding the hospital. I am lucky to have good health, a strong immune system, and the stubborn belief that my body can heal itself. My husband was not so lucky: he is so comfortable in a hospital that it sometimes frightens me.
So when we got news that his medicine had stopped working for his Crohn's he was prepared for it, and prepared for the idea of surgery or a stem cell transplant.
I was not.
We have spent the last couple weeks living in a world of "what if," while juggling scenario's of moving, of complications, of never naturally conceiving more children etc.

Thankfully, Nathan's doctor from childhood is very thorough. Nathan was able to talk to her yesterday and find more livable options for us. She found two medications that are rather new and that may work for him. Even if they only work for a couple years, that would give us the time we would need to settle more with our family and have the chance to have more children. It would also give the stem cell trials time to become more routine and more widespread, possibly eliminating our need to move in order for Nathan to have that treatment. Of course, nothing is set in stone, and things could change, but this gives me hope that there are more options and as time goes on we may have better choices for Nathan's health.

I cannot find the words to correctly express the amount of relief that I feel knowing that our lives do not have to get suddenly uprooted. We can continue to live in a town that we have grown to love, with the friends that have become family, and the community that we are proud to be part of. I can work part time and be with my toddler. My husband can be healthy (by his standards) and we can work to watch diet and activity level to help the new medication work. I am grateful, I am at peace, and I am so relieved.

xoxo,
Camille