Dating an INFJ. Or, more specifically, me.
I love to at least hold on to the illusion of being in control and having things in order.
I function amazingly within a routine I can design, and patterns I can rely on.
All of which make me a really challenging person to date.
Just ask my poor husband.
He's been dating me for over four years now.
See, sudden plan changes that I have no say in or control over freak me out.
But Nathan, well, he has finally recently realized that to date me, means to include me every step of the way.
For Valentine's day this year, I thought of different things I could do to surprise him. He likes to be surprised, and that detail-oriented part of me knows exactly how to surprise him.
But he sat down and talked through what he was thinking with me. Leaving some flexibility in the plans for me to be able to make my own choices in how we celebrated. At this point, he doesn't even really get his feelings hurt when I alter his plans, because he knows that I'm not doing it to be mean to him, I'm doing it because I need to have a certain level of comfort in the plans.
That is the mark of an amazing person. Someone who realizes that the only way for me to really enjoy my evening is to have a general timeline laid out and a plan so that I can be properly dressed and packed for it.
I really did get lucky with my husband, because I don't know many other people that would be willing to give over control of date nights and plans just to make their significant other happy. And mine is willing to do that.
But he sat down and talked through what he was thinking with me. Leaving some flexibility in the plans for me to be able to make my own choices in how we celebrated. At this point, he doesn't even really get his feelings hurt when I alter his plans, because he knows that I'm not doing it to be mean to him, I'm doing it because I need to have a certain level of comfort in the plans.
That is the mark of an amazing person. Someone who realizes that the only way for me to really enjoy my evening is to have a general timeline laid out and a plan so that I can be properly dressed and packed for it.
I really did get lucky with my husband, because I don't know many other people that would be willing to give over control of date nights and plans just to make their significant other happy. And mine is willing to do that.
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