This needs no introduction, but just allow me to say, he's my favorite.
Swimming at the pool.
Jace: The swim pants are in my butt mom!
Me: That's called a wedgie.
Jace: Okay. I have a wedgie mom!
I come in from the backyard and Jace is on the couch.
Jace: MOM! MOM!
Me: What is it? What's wrong?
Jace: *Solemly* There's a bee on me.
Jace: On my neck.
Me: *Rushes over to check* Dude, that's not a bee, it's a mosquito. Just squish it.
Aunt Elise comes to the Memorial Day Picnic wearing red lipstick.
Jace: Aunt Weiss! Hey, you have funny chapstick on.
At Mimi and Grandpa Bongo's house, after parking the Camero.
Grandpa: It just needs to cool down, I was hot rodding it.
Mimi: You better not get a speeding ticket!
Jace: What's a speedy ticket?
I was using the android version of Siri on my phone.
Me: Is symbolistically a word?
Phone: I will do a web search on simplistically.
Me: I know simplistically is a word, you're useless Siri.
Jace: Who's Siri???
*I realized later the world I was mentally searching for was symbolically*
Jace has been going on for about 5 minutes about something with dinner.
Me: So wait, you can't use the macaroni fork?
Jace: I can't eat the macaroni with the chicken fork! That's what I've been trying to tell you!!!
At the beach.
Jace: I'm going to make a sand angel mom!
Me: That doesn't work the same as a snow angel!
Jace: Aww, really?
Aunt Lindsay was checking her mail.
Lindsay: Yes, the mail is here, I've been waiting for something! Nope. Damn it. And nope. Of course it didn't come.
Jace: Can I see?
Lindsay: There's nothing to see, it's not the mail I wanted.
Jace: But I want to see the damn it.
*We explained that damn it is not nice to say and she really meant darn it, don't worry*