In babysitting being a mom meltdowns

Being a Mom is Rough Sometimes

I hope that it is clear by now that I really do love my little one. If, through my previous blog posts, you haven't gotten that impression, it may be time to reread :)
However, sometimes I have to recognize how difficult life can be with him. For example, the original plan for this summer was for me to work full time (more like 50+ hours a week) and Nathan would work part time and be able to be home with Jace the majority of the time. We weren't expecting him to be offered a full time job starting the day after graduation. So we weren't quite prepared for what that would mean for us. For example: setting up a babysitter for every day that our schedules overlap is unbelievably stressful.

Now, you may be thinking, why not enroll him in daycare? Yes, daycare would mean I could drop him off, no issues. But I worked at a daycare. A terribly run daycare that cared much more about the profits than the children entrusted to them. The ratios meant that one teacher was left with 6 one year old's at a time and, no matter how good the teacher, this meant that kids got hurt, got bit by other kids, and got ignored. Jace is not a high-maintenance baby, he would most likely be okay, but at the same time, I have been scarred by my experience on the inside of daycare. Plus the germs: both of us were sick so often when we were there 40 hours a week.
Now, I know that there are good daycare's  Even great daycare's  But I would much rather leave him with a friend, with people that I know and trust, or best of all at home when someone can come over to be with him in his own environment with his own toys and crib. Nathan agrees with me: it just seems better to have him in a more controlled environment. But the issue that comes with it is organizing where he goes each day and at what time. See, friends willing to babysit have their own schedules too, they aren't open 7-5 M-F to take whatever child is dropped off. That is where the stress comes in. Once I know my schedule, and Nathan's schedule, it's left to me to figure out Jace's. And when I have worked that day and am stressed out anyway it seems impossible to figure it all out while Jace is crying at me for no real reason. I am hoping that as I get more used to it, or as our schedules become more regular, I will have better luck getting everything organized.
Any other mom's feel this way too sometimes?
Any advice/insight/words of encouragement to offer if so?


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