My C-Section Doesn't Require Pity
Scrolling through social media tonight I saw an article posted and some comments posted under it reading:
So sorry for her situation
This makes my heart hurt for her.
I'm sad for her.
My heart was heavy when I heard the news.
I read them to Nathan and asked, "What does it sound like they're commenting on?"
He responded that it sounded like they were commenting on a death.
In my mind other appropriate guesses included:
- Getting a divorce.
- A major medical diagnosis.
- Loss of a job.
But was it about any of the above? No. It was about Jill Dillard (Duggar) giving birth to her second child via cesarean section instead of the VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) that she wanted.
And my blood was starting to boil.
My son was born via c-section in April 2012, a routine surgery that healed up well and gave me that absolute love and joy of my life. I've spent years since then listening to women put down c-sections and c-section mamas. I've spent Jace's whole life hearing vaginal birth put on a pedestal.
But this was new, this genuine mourning because a perfectly valid form of birth is how a baby entered the world.
To those anti cesarean advocates, I no longer care if I offend you. Stop lamenting for a "birth gone wrong" and let me tell you little something about a real birth gone wrong.
A real birth gone wrong, is when you walk out of the hospital without a baby. When you didn't get the option for a cesarean section or home birth or any other kind of birth because your baby died before it was ever able to breathe outside of the womb. When your "birth" experience is a D&C (dilation and curettage) because you miscarried.
Stop pushing forward the notion that a surgical birth is in any way less than what it is: a successful entrance of a sweet alive tiny human.
Every woman is entitled to picture the type of birth she wants, and allowed to feel however she wants after it happens. But for the love of those of us who have seen the positive pregnancy test and never held their baby, stop treating a C-section like the most awful thing that can happen. Because I've lived both, and I can assure you they are in no way comparable.
So sorry for her situation
This makes my heart hurt for her.
I'm sad for her.
My heart was heavy when I heard the news.
I read them to Nathan and asked, "What does it sound like they're commenting on?"
He responded that it sounded like they were commenting on a death.
In my mind other appropriate guesses included:
- Getting a divorce.
- A major medical diagnosis.
- Loss of a job.
But was it about any of the above? No. It was about Jill Dillard (Duggar) giving birth to her second child via cesarean section instead of the VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) that she wanted.
And my blood was starting to boil.
My son was born via c-section in April 2012, a routine surgery that healed up well and gave me that absolute love and joy of my life. I've spent years since then listening to women put down c-sections and c-section mamas. I've spent Jace's whole life hearing vaginal birth put on a pedestal.
But this was new, this genuine mourning because a perfectly valid form of birth is how a baby entered the world.
To those anti cesarean advocates, I no longer care if I offend you. Stop lamenting for a "birth gone wrong" and let me tell you little something about a real birth gone wrong.
A real birth gone wrong, is when you walk out of the hospital without a baby. When you didn't get the option for a cesarean section or home birth or any other kind of birth because your baby died before it was ever able to breathe outside of the womb. When your "birth" experience is a D&C (dilation and curettage) because you miscarried.
Stop pushing forward the notion that a surgical birth is in any way less than what it is: a successful entrance of a sweet alive tiny human.
Every woman is entitled to picture the type of birth she wants, and allowed to feel however she wants after it happens. But for the love of those of us who have seen the positive pregnancy test and never held their baby, stop treating a C-section like the most awful thing that can happen. Because I've lived both, and I can assure you they are in no way comparable.
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